10 tips from psychologists to form a strong couple

10 valuable tips, 10 good resolutions to make to strengthen the bonds of his couple or meet love and keep it. Follow the recommendations of CĂ©line De Donno, psychologist consultant, and Elodie Lecomte, psychologist coach for Parship * online dating agency that helps to find the ideal partner.

Love? Oh yes ! Love always ? Many people do not dare to dream anymore.

Too many disappointments, too many failures that the statistics do not miss to underline. But a divorce on three marriages is also two couples out of three who stay the course and end their days together.

How to make new decisions, new orientations for oneself and one’s partner, develop new projects, establish priorities that help make the couple stronger and sustain the relationship or marital life?

Celine De Donno, consulting psychologist and Elodie Lecomte, psychologist coach for the online dating agency Parship.com, regularly face the insistent expectations of women and men to live a happy and sustainable couple life.

They looked at the mistakes, the clumsiness, the unfulfilled desires that threaten the couple and that can be avoided. Tips to follow and interview to meditate these psychologists.

For Couples :

1 – Be really attentive to your partner, his expectations, his desires, his projects, and relearn to exchange around great debates. Without this, over time, opinions and roles tend to freeze, no contradiction is allowed and we comply with a mode of functioning of his couple that can be faulty.

2 – Accept to be different. What made you madly in love at the beginning of the relationship, is it beyond you now? Take the time to remember what you liked about your partner during your first meetings, which was the charm of his presence, the character traits that make up his personality and remain … It’s the combination of two characters that are distinct but strive to appreciate each other, leading to a high level of shared complicity and intimacy. Practice recovering the conciliatory state of mind that prevailed at the beginning of your relationship.

3 – Knowing how to react to happiness as well as to obstacles: savoring the little daily pleasures and facing the difficulties together is done spontaneously and often helps to energize and weld the couple. Knowing how to apprehend the obstacle, how to get around it or how to find a solution to overcome it, responds to a positive and constructive structure of the couple.

4 – Take the time to do nothing together: the daily has accelerated and the relationship to time is today very different. The days are spent in an emergency, with a very important need for reactivity. The new multimedia tools facilitate communication but make them very dependent on messages and information to be known and processed. To strengthen the couple, it is important to relax with two inactive, to spend time together to dream, to watch the blue sky, the snow fall … in total unproductivity!

5 – Develop common projects: having a big project for two, moving, living abroad, starting a family, taking a long trip are all experiences that cement the life of a couple. Both of them approach the project in its own way, add a personal touch, introduce others to the way they see and do things.

6 – Communicating in the right direction. A person communicates on average about 102 minutes a day, by phone, by SMS or on social networks *. As a couple, taking the time to exchange, to discuss face-to-face around different themes, as at the beginning of the relationship, can approach together, each according to his point of view, the personal, professional and family issues that the both are confronted, valuing concordant opinions and without focusing on contrary opinions.

7 – Take time for yourself: a sports activity, an outing with colleagues, friends, a solo walk, an exhibition … all these opportunities to live things individually, we often postpone them to spend more time with two. But to exist outside the couple, it is necessary to practice being face to oneself, in an autonomy, even a solitude, positive and pleasant.

8 – Surprise your partner: when the relationship is established harmoniously, it is important to continue expressing your feelings in a regular and original way, not to be lulled by the monotony and give in to the routine. A surprise dinner, a detour to meet his partner on his usual journey, a little word slipped into a pocket, are all small touches that allow the loved one to always feel appreciated and desired.

9 – To seize happiness: to take pleasure in being in love, to live in pairs, to share one’s world with one’s beloved. Some people find it difficult to recognize the positive elements of their lives. It is not a systematically negative approach to things, but sometimes a certain inability to appreciate moments of pleasure, as if happiness was destabilizing. To take a step back, to put lightness in one’s way of being, allows to start gently a change towards a relationship of love and lasting tenderness.

FOR THE SINGLES:

10 – Are you single? Give yourself time to meet new people. Between your obligations, your professional activity, the family constraints, the time for outings alone or between friends, cultural evenings, walks in the city or in the nature … – as many opportunities for find the soul mate – is more and more reduced. Meeting new people takes time. The conviction that staying alone and isolated condemns it remains a leitmotif to keep always in mind.

If so, dating agencies can help you. Parship.fr offers an affinity test that allows you to get in touch with members of the site to establish a stable and serious relationship.